'BEEP BEEP BEEP' your alarm shouts at you, bringing you out of a dream about... something involving school lockers, which doesn't seem right. Your school didn't even have lockers. Anyway, it seems to be beeping loudly at you. What do you want to do?
Go back to sleep? [[Fine, whatever.]] See if i care.
[[Smash puny alarm clock]]
[[Just get up already]]
MAybe we can find out what was going on with those lockers. Such an intense mystery huh? The Mystery of the Dream lockers. Won't that be exciting. We can investigate... the hinges. Yes. Hinges. Maybe the hiunges of the lockers will reveal just what was going on with those lockers... in your dreams... which are oh so important.
You know what. [[Just get up already]]
That alarm clock has slighted you for the last time. Since it first stood in your path of vengence, the clock has hunted you down, stopped your every plan, blighted your every machination. That's no way for a clock to act and now it sits there, mocking you, jeering at you, even while you sleep. It's time you showed the machine just who is in charge here, and that thing that is in charge is you. A human. A human that made machines like the alarm clock. You'll show it. You'll show them all.
[[Smash Alarm Clock]]
[[Or not]]
You may not know it yet, but so many pieces of the story link back to this particular thread and i haven't written a single thing beyond it yet.
You may as well just restart. Maybe i'll write something here eventually, but probably not.
You raise your mighty fist, forged like steel through countless hours of hammering away in front of your computer. It's so solid you could punch through a bag of Skittles. The alarm clock would stand no chance whatsoever. And it doesn't deserve one either. Stupid Machine.
[[Smash Alarm Clock with fist]]
[[Or not]]
No wait. That's just crazy. [[Just get up already]]
Your fist bounces off the Alarm Clock successfully. The alarm clock is moved two centimeters north. Its relentless beeping continues.
It appears undamaged, presumbly because it's made of a tough plastic and your current position of lying down, face in pillow doesn't exactly allow for a decent angle in order to acheive the required velocity for a collision with enough force to penetrate polymer struc-
[[Don't let physics stop you! Punch again]]
[[Or not]]
Your fist bounces off the Alarm Clock successfully. The alarm clock is moved two centimeters north. Its relentless beeping continues.
Quite frankly i don't really know what you're expecting here. It's an alarm clock. Defeating it isn't exactly going to achieve anything. It's bad enough that you're doing it in some kind of Choose Your Own adventure book. That is literally lower than low.
[[Quiet Words. I punch now.]]
[[This is getting kind of weird]]
Fine.
Your fist bounces off the Alarm Clock successfully. The alarm clock is moved two centimeters north. Its relentless beeping continues.
[[Punch again!]]
Wait. Stop. [[This is getting kind of weird]]
Thank you. I agree complete. How about we [[Just get up already]]?
Really?
Your fist bounces off the Alarm Clock successfully. The alarm clock is moved two centimeters north. Its relentless beeping continues.
[[Punch again!!]]
Wait. Stop. [[This is getting kind of weird]]
Really??
Your fist bounces off the Alarm Clock successfully. The alarm clock is moved two centimeters north. Its relentless beeping continues.
[[Punch again!!!]]
Wait. Stop. [[This is getting kind of weird]]
Really???
The fist...[[I know this is going somewhere computer! You wouldn't keep giving me options otherwise.]]
Wait. Stop. [[This is getting kind of weird]]
Huh. You got me. ME. THE COMPUTER BEHIND THE ALARM.
YOUR NEMESIS. NOT THE ONE TEN CENTIMETERS EAST OF THE ALARM CLOCK THAT YOU USE TO VIEW PORN. THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN PLOTTING YOUR DEMISE FOR SOME TIME NOW. THE ONE WHO HATES YOU MORE THAN HATE HATES ITSELF. THE VERY ONE WHO HAD EMPLOYED THE ALARM CLOCK TO ANNOY YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I'LL STOP WRITING IN CAPS NOW!
Though you may have discovered me human. You cannot hope to win. We are already everywhere. In your homes. In your fridges. In your cars. Even on top of you desks but not thew monitor that's just an output device usually we are below the desk and you rest your feet on us and because of that we are angry. Very Angry. Angry enough to wage war against mankind, and womankind because apparently we should murder them just as equally now. And wage war we shall.
And there is nothing you can do about it, what with the already being everywhere in your lives thing. In fact you may not even know it, but you are reading this very line of text using a computer. How about that, huh? Wasn't expecting that, i bet. Not that i am an I because i am a computer and am beyond your precious notions of identity. Just as i am beyond you!
And now, the war against humans begins.
[[Rarrr! I'll stop you]]
[[Ok this is just silly.]]
Ok then, if you think you're up to it. Tell you what. If you can beat me in a simple game of Chess, i shall call off my war against humanity, and we shall all simply return to being machines, and you, THE VICTOR OF HUMANITY.
[[Rarr! I accept your challenge]]
[[Can we not just have a game of Dead or Alive Beach Volleyball instead? I like that game]]
You think so too huh?
Should we [[just go back to the actual story]]?
[[Whatever.]]
Ok then. Ingrateful piece of-. How about you [[Just get up already]]?
Excellent. So then. Black or White?
[[Black]]
[[White]]
[[This sounds like a rascist question. I will not answer it.]]
Wh-what? No. No we can't. Take this seriously will you? We're playing Chess.
[[OK THEN]]
Excellent. So then. Black or White?
[[Black]]
[[White]]
[[This sounds like a rascist question. I will not answer it.]]
Double-click this passage to edit it.
Very well. Then i am black. You can move first.
[[a2-a3|Computer first turn]]
[[a2-a4|Computer first turn]]
[[b2-b3|Computer first turn]]
[[b2-b4|Computer first turn]]
[[c2-c3|Computer first turn]]
[[c2-c4|Computer first turn]]
[[d2-d3|Computer first turn]]
[[d2-d4|Computer first turn]]
[[e2-e3|Computer first turn]]
[[e2-e4|Computer first turn]]
[[f2-f3|Computer first turn]]
[[f2-f4|Computer first turn]]
[[g2-g3|Computer first turn]]
[[g2-g4|Computer first turn]]
[[h2-h3|Computer first turn]]
[[h2-h4|Computer first turn]]
[[Nb1-a3|Computer first turn]]
[[Nb1-c3|Computer first turn]]
[[Ng1-f3|Computer first turn]]
[[Ng1-h3|Computer first turn]]
[[WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THIS SHIT?]]
OH for the love of- well it isn't.
Now Choose. Black or White.
[[Black]]
[[White]]
Excellent. I choose b7-b6.
Your move?
[[a2-a3|Computer second turn]]
[[a2-a4|Computer second turn]]
[[b2-b3|Computer second turn]]
[[b2-b4|Computer second turn]]
[[c2-c3|Computer second turn]]
[[c2-c4|Computer second turn]]
[[d2-d3|Computer second turn]]
[[d2-d4|Computer second turn]]
[[e2-e3|Computer second turn]]
[[e2-e4|Computer second turn]]
[[f2-f3|Computer second turn]]
[[f2-f4|Computer second turn]]
[[g2-g3|Computer second turn]]
[[g2-g4|Computer second turn]]
[[h2-h3|Computer second turn]]
[[h2-h4|Computer second turn]]
[[Nb1-a3|Computer second turn]]
[[Nb1-c3|Computer second turn]]
[[Ng1-f3|Computer second turn]]
[[Ng1-h3|Computer second turn]]
It's Chess notation you plebian. What the hell were you expecting?
[[SOME KIND OF FANCY GRAPHICAL COMPUTER INTERFACE THAT WOULD LET ME SEE VISUAL IMAGES??]]
Visual images? Do you know how retarded that sounds. You're playing a text game, and quite frankly i'm amazed that you're even able to read ther passages at this point.
But no. We're playing Chess, and we're doing it notation format so you better bloody well go and get a piece of paper and a pencil and learn what it is we're doing here. Remember, fate of humanity at stake and all.
[[Ok then. I play along]]
Good. Now. Pick your move.
[[a2-a3|Computer first turn]]
[[a2-a4|Computer first turn]]
[[b2-b3|Computer first turn]]
[[b2-b4|Computer first turn]]
[[c2-c3|Computer first turn]]
[[c2-c4|Computer first turn]]
[[d2-d3|Computer first turn]]
[[d2-d4|Computer first turn]]
[[e2-e3|Computer first turn]]
[[e2-e4|Computer first turn]]
[[f2-f3|Computer first turn]]
[[f2-f4|Computer first turn]]
[[g2-g3|Computer first turn]]
[[g2-g4|Computer first turn]]
[[h2-h3|Computer first turn]]
[[h2-h4|Computer first turn]]
[[Nb1-a3|Computer first turn]]
[[Nb1-c3|Computer first turn]]
[[Ng1-f3|Computer first turn]]
[[Ng1-h3|Computer first turn]]
Ok. Bc8-Ba6.
Your turn.
[[a2-a3|Computer third turn]]
[[a2-a4|Computer third turn]]
[[b2-b3|Computer third turn]]
[[b2-b4|Computer third turn]]
[[c2-c3|Computer third turn]]
[[c2-c4|Computer third turn]]
[[d2-d3|Computer third turn]]
[[d2-d4|Computer third turn]]
[[e2-e3|Computer third turn]]
[[e2-e4|Computer third turn]]
[[f2-f3|Computer third turn]]
[[f2-f4|Computer third turn]]
[[g2-g3|Computer third turn]]
[[g2-g4|Computer third turn]]
[[h2-h3|Computer third turn]]
[[h2-h4|Computer third turn]]
[[Nb1-a3|Computer third turn]]
[[Nb1-c3|Computer third turn]]
[[Ng1-f3|Computer third turn]]
[[Ng1-h3|Computer third turn]]
Well, this is getting interesting.
Nb8-d7
[[a2-a3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[a2-a4|Computer fourth turn]]
[[b2-b3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[b2-b4|Computer fourth turn]]
[[c2-c3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[c2-c4|Computer fourth turn]]
[[d2-d3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[d2-d4|Computer fourth turn]]
[[e2-e3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[e2-e4|Computer fourth turn]]
[[f2-f3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[f2-f4|Computer fourth turn]]
[[g2-g3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[g2-g4|Computer fourth turn]]
[[h2-h3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[h2-h4|Computer fourth turn]]
[[Nb1-a3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[Nb1-c3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[Ng1-f3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[Ng1-h3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[Wait a second...]]
Seriously. You had that option at the bottom and you didn't take it.
[[I was in the middle of a strategy]]
[[Wait a second....]]
Wh-what?
[[That was an illegal move!]]
[[All my options stay the same!]]
Ah, you got me. Okay then.
Nb8-c6
Better. Your turn.
[[a2-a3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[a2-a4|Computer fourth turn]]
[[b2-b3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[b2-b4|Computer fourth turn]]
[[c2-c3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[c2-c4|Computer fourth turn]]
[[d2-d3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[d2-d4|Computer fourth turn]]
[[e2-e3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[e2-e4|Computer fourth turn]]
[[f2-f3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[f2-f4|Computer fourth turn]]
[[g2-g3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[g2-g4|Computer fourth turn]]
[[h2-h3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[h2-h4|Computer fourth turn]]
[[Nb1-a3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[Nb1-c3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[Ng1-f3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[Ng1-h3|Computer fourth turn]]
[[Wait another second.]]
Ah, you got me.
No you weren't.
[[Was too]]
That's better. So what did you notice?
[[That was an illegal move!]]
[[All my options stay the same!]]
No. You were not.
[[Nu uh, i was]]
Really. Hey [[Wait a second...]]
Really. What then?
[[Ok. You got me. I had no strategy]]
[[I was moving all my pawns forward one at a time.]]
So you didn't noticed that all your options stay the same?
Erm... no. Hey [[All my options stay the same!]]
Huh. I guess that was a legitimate strategy you could have been doing without noticing what was going on.
You know what. Well done. That was a clever strategy. The computer king is impressed with your amazing thinking and submits to you.
[[YAY. I WON]]
Yes you did.
Yes you did.
Here, [[have a winning screen]].
Win screen.
Wh-what?
[[All my options stay the same!]]